Rachel's Viewfinder

In August last year, I was boogie boarding at Mrytle Beach when I felt the Lord speak to me and tell me “it was time to catch a wave.” At the time, I thought the Lord was referring to SIM’s desire to send me on a 3-6 month short term trip out of the USA. I excitedly shared with my supporters the news and waited for the Lord to move.

But in September, the Lord moved very unexpectedly.  At first, it seemed to be a turn in the wrong direction.  The trip SIM wanted me to take dissolved into thin air, and about the same time, I said good-bye to a long-time friend and I became depressed.  Admittedly, all I wanted to do was call it quits and do something—anything—else.  I had a conversation with my Dad right about then.  He asked me if I was happy with my life.  I stammered out an answer, but deep inside I knew I was not happy at all.  Tired, frustrated and broken, I gave up.  I was ready for God to build me back up into whatever He wanted.

“Whatever He wanted” turned out to be equally unexpected.  God brought a man into my life.  I met Robert in May last year, when the Lord brought him to SIM USA to complete his internship requirement to graduate from Cedarville University.  We had hit it off, but remained friends only at work.  At the end of the summer, he went back to Ohio at the end of his internship.  That was it.  But in September, God brought Robert back to SIM for a month.  We started hanging out more and built a friendship outside of work.  So much so that Claude actually took us aside one evening and told us that we needed to be careful in the way we interacted because people would start talking about us at the Office.

It was a slightly embarrassing conversation, to say the least!  At that point, I was not admitting to myself how much I liked Robert.  But that conversation ended up opening the door to something both Robert and I had thought of and both dismissed as impossible: a relationship between the two of us.  Shortly after that conversation with Claude, Robert and I went out to play skeeball together.  After our game, he told me he liked me.  And I had to tell him that i liked him too.  We then started talking every night for at least four hours.  And from the talking, we started dating.

And now, in just a few more short weeks, I will become Robert’s wife.  Golly, I’m going to be a married woman…the thought keeps hitting me in odd ways.  But as I know Robert more and more, I see that the Lord brought the right man into my life.  He’s passionate about the Lord, he wants to use his media skills in ministry, and he suits me as a husband and life long companion.

When God told me to catch a wave, I was expecting a completely different ride.  I thought I would have a new task, a new place, or a new ministry that I’d be doing.  Instead, God brought me something completely unexpected.  He brought me my husband.

(To read the original “Catch a Wave” post, click here: http://www.rachelfinder.com/post/964769521)

Jesus uses the oddest things to talk to me at times.  Yesterday, it was my shoes.

I’ve got this pair of orange Chuck Taylor All-Stars.  They’re orange (duh) hightops, with blue laces and blue racing stripes.  You can’t miss them when I’m wearing them.  They just…stick out.  Being hightops, they require lacing.  I can’t just step into them like my other sneakers and shoes.  Which means more time in the mornings if I’m going to wear them.

Yesterday, I was hurrying out of the house, and I decided to wear my orange Chucks.  But because I was hurrying, I decided to tie my shoes once I got to work.  Except…I never quite managed to ever get around to tying my shoes.  I plunked myself down at my desk, started editing a video for the Petersons here at SIM USA for orientation, and ignored my feet.

It was a typical Tuesday.  I had the video for the Petersons nearly finished and under control, another video project for church waiting in the wings, and a few other little doodads and meetings coming up.  The Petersons video was of most importance because Josh and Rosy would be leaving two days earlier than planned and there really was no reason why they couldn’t take their video home with them.  As for the video for church…it was causing some pain because I was waiting for some footage for it from some friends of mine, and if I didn’t get it, I would have to come up with “Plan B”.  Thing is, I was fresh out of ideas for “Plan B.”  It wasn’t the greatest security, but as far as I was feeling, I still had it under control.

I didn’t think too much about my projects until sometime before lunch when my boss came up to me and said, “Rachel, I got a call from Stewardship and they want us to create a quick video talking about SIM USA’s involvement in the upcoming Cape Town 2010 Lausanne Conference.  It’s just a quick thing, but you’ve got to film one of the people for it this afternoon.”

I must have had the “deer-in-the-headlights” look on my face.  I just stared at Claude.  After hemming and hawing and trying to sort out the jumble that my to-do lists had become in my mind, I managed to ask the questions I needed to at least come up with a game plan.  I didn’t need a last minute project that was due “in the next few days”.  I got enough work to do!  All my nicely planned deadlines were crazily transforming into spaghetti.  Or, tangled shoe laces…

Scrambling around the office, trying to get my camera gear together for the new video shoot, I kept tripping over my shoe laces.  Every time I looked down in annoyance, I couldn’t help but notice how loose the shoes were on my feet.  It wouldn’t take much to just step out of them and forget them completely.  Instead, I just ignored them and continued on.  Through-out testing the gear, having a mic failure, then a camera time-code issue, a shoot that was 45 minutes late because of technical difficulties, then trying to get some work done on the video for the Petersons, I kept tripping over my shoes!  If it wasn’t the laces, it was almost stepping out of my shoes.

But every time I thought about tying my laces, I got this funny image in my head: the projects I was flipping out over were this brain-shaped, orange shoe around my mind.  I had the blue control laces knotted up so tightly I had no room to think or be flexible…I was panicking that I wouldn’t get it all done!  This image of a brain-shaped shoe with blue laces always had one other element: God prying my fingers off the knot and loosening up the laces until the shoe was about ready to fall off in His hand.  The point of the image?  Loosen up, and let God control the projects.  LOOSEN UP!

Who knew that the tongues on shoes could say so much?

The other day I was talking with some girl friends, encouraging them in their walk with the Lord.  They were prayerfully praying to the Lord about some tough decisions in their lives.  I challenged them to let go, and let God provide.  It’s a lesson Jesus has taught me while serving as a missionary.  One of my dear girls said to me, “How? I look and you and I go, ‘How does she do that?’ How do you do it?!”

I replied as best as I could, but the full impact and answer to her question didn’t hit until later that evening.

I literally have no other choice. 

In March, Jesus moved in my heart that I was to return to Charlotte full time in April.  He clearly told me, “Go; I will provide.”  So I returned to Charlotte, even though I didn’t have 100% financial support.  It seemed a little crazy, but Jesus kept reassuring me He would provide.  When I arrived in Charlotte, I didn’t have a car, or a permanent place to stay.  For the past five months, I’ve stayed in four different places, seeming to move once a month!  And though I still don’t have a car, Jesus has provided people willing to let me borrow their extra vehicles.

Some of the things I never could have expected that Jesus was providing for!  I had to move rather quickly from my last place of residence.  It required moving all of my things from there to SIM USA’s warehouse until Jesus lined up another place to stay.  A month before, friends had let me borrow their truck to get around Charlotte.  I didn’t know why God provided a truck until I needed all that bed space to move my stuff to the warehouse!  If I had been driving a compact car, like I originally was hoping to borrow, I wouldn’t have been able to move my things to my new house this past weekend!

Again this morning, Jesus reminded me of His provision.  I’ve been out of money from this month’s pay for almost a week now.  I got an unexpected phone bill in the mail this morning.  The check needed to be in the mail today to avoid late fees, and I’m not getting my next financial payout until Monday.  Wondering how I could pay this without any money in my checkbook, I checked my bank account.  I didn’t know how much was in there, but I knew there was a little to keep the account open.  As I checked my online statement, Jesus whispered, “Trust me.”  The amount in my checking account was $19 and change.  I needed $11.60 for the bill.  I’d still have $7 to keep the account open!

I went to write the check, and then realized I needed change to buy a stamp for the envelope.  I went through my wallet, and came up with 31 cents.  I went through all the other pockets in my wallet, my bag … nothing.  Knowing I had to write the check, I pulled out my pen, through my wallet in my bag and filled out the check.  As I got up to go ask one of my coworkers for the extra 13 cents to buy a stamp, Jesus said, “Check your wallet again.”  I had just checked it five minutes ago.  But I checked it.  Tucked in between a wad of receipts was another quarter.  Feeling a lot like Peter pulling the drachma out of fish’s mouth, I went and bought my stamp, and mailed in my bill.

My God is an AWESOME GOD!